This week, 27th-31st January 2025, the annual Family Mediation Week is raising awareness of mediation and its many benefits for families.
Hosted by the Family Mediation Council, the five-day programme includes presentations on all aspects of family mediation, with a particular focus this year on the value of child-inclusive mediation.
Divorce can be an incredibly challenging time for the entire family, particularly for children.
But divorce can lead to further problems if a child doesn’t feel supported, with mental health experts reporting a 16% rise in behavioural and emotional issues among children of divorced parents aged 7 to 14.
A child-inclusive mediation process creates the environment necessary to support children as they navigate the changes within their family unit.
By creating space for the voice of the child in mediation efforts, their anxieties can be soothed and their confusion replaced with a sense of empowerment.
Family mediation specialist Marcia, has broken down the steps families can take to involve children in mediation and handle this difficult time with confidence.
Latest figures from the Office of National Statistics highlight that 105,000 children have divorced parents, with nearly 95,000 children being under the age of 16.
In 2007, more than half of couples who divorced in the UK had at least one child under 16, and latest figures reveal an estimated 3.8 million children were in separated families by the end of 2023. That’s almost four million young lives facing considerable disruption, and their voices should be heard.
The emotional turmoil and disruption these children face will have long-term impacts on their wellbeing if the voice of the child in mediation processes isn’t prioritised.
Research has shown that when children are exposed to intense and poorly resolved parental conflict, it can have a devastating impact on their wellbeing.
But when children feel heard and understood during a child-inclusive mediation process, they are immediately protected from the worst outcomes we see in cases where the voice of the child in mediation went unheard.
By prioritising the voice of the child in mediation, parents can actively contribute to their children’s long-term emotional well-being and ensure a smoother transition during this challenging period.
This can significantly reduce their anxiety, fostering a sense of security and control. When children feel involved and respected, they are more likely to develop stronger, more positive relationships with both parents, even after the separation.
Divorce can have a profound and lasting impact on children, affecting their emotional, mental, and physical well-being.
Studies have found that around 20% of young people from divorced families reported their exam results being negatively affected, with a significant proportion citing GCSEs as the most impacted area. But these issues can manifest across all aspects of their academic career:
Emotionally, children may experience a range of intense emotions, including anxiety, fear, sadness, and anger.
These emotions can have serious impacts, with UK studies finding children aged between 7 and 14 who experience parental divorce are around 16% more likely to develop emotional problems like anxiety and depression, with a potential 8% increase in conduct issues.
These complex and difficult emotions can manifest in various ways, such as:
Financially, divorce can also significantly impact a child’s quality of life, as setting up two separate households inevitably means dividing family finances.
In fact, research shows that children whose parents divorce and remain divorced for at least six years experience a 40 – 45% drop in family income, which can lead to:
Material deprivation: Children may experience a decline in the quality of their living conditions, such as smaller living spaces, fewer possessions, and less access to nutritious food.
In all family mediation cases, the mediator acts as an independent and impartial guide, creating a safe and supportive space for all parties to communicate freely. Child-inclusive mediation takes this a step further by ensuring that children’s voices are also heard.
This allows parents to create space for the voice of the child in mediation in a safe, empowering manner. The process typically involves:
Whilst any conversation involving mediation for children can be worrying for parents, it’s important to remember that mediators know how to involve children in mediation in a safe and constructive manner.
At Marcia Mediation, our team of highly trained professionals prioritises the child’s well-being and never pressures children or puts them in difficult situations. Our primary goal is to create a safe and supportive environment where children can express themselves freely and feel heard.
Want to create a welcoming space for the voice of the child in mediation? Contact us today.
Child-inclusive mediation empowers children. This directly tackles their anxieties and helps them to feel positive about the future.
It helps the parents too, giving them precious insights into the voice of the child in mediation, helping them to understand their needs and concerns and feel more connected during a time of upset.
Divorce mediation with children can even reduce conflict between parents, allowing for open communication and cooperation. This fosters healthier co-parenting relationships – crucial for a child’s well-being – and can lead to improved family dynamics.
One family found that their teenager’s input during mediation with Marcia Mediation led to an agreement that prioritised stability in schooling and social connections:
“I finally feel like someone is listening to me, and it helped so much as mum and dad are now doing what I want.”
It’s understandable to have some anxieties about involving your child in the mediation process.
Concerns like “Will this traumatise my child?” or “Won’t this put more pressure on them?” are common.
However, it’s important to remember that child-inclusive mediation is conducted by highly trained professionals who prioritise the child’s emotional safety and well-being. In fact, the Marcia Mediation team is trained to build rapport with children using age-appropriate language and techniques to create a comfortable and supportive environment.
While it can be uncomfortable for parents to involve their child, many mediators find the voice of the child in mediation is often unheard. One of our recent clients’ children told us:
“At least someone finally listened to me and it felt so good to just be heard.”
The focus is on listening and understanding, not on placing blame or making children choose sides. Our role is to provide a safe space for the child to express their feelings and concerns without pressure or judgment, ensuring every child-inclusive mediation process has a positive outcome.
We understand that attending mediation can be challenging for parents of young children. As such, Marcia Mediation can offer assistance to make sure the mediation process is balanced with your parental commitments.
We offer flexible options like telephone or video conferencing for mediation sessions. This eliminates the need for travel and allows you to participate from the comfort of your own home, making it easier to manage childcare responsibilities.
We understand that every family’s schedule is unique. We can work with you to schedule sessions at times that are most convenient for you and your family, such as evenings or weekends.
If you need assistance with childcare during a mediation session, we can provide recommendations for local childcare providers or suggest alternative arrangements to ensure your child is well-cared for while you participate in the process.
By offering these flexible options and prioritising your needs, we aim to make the mediation process as accessible and stress-free as possible for parents of young children.
If you think mediation may be right for you, the first step is to book a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) to discuss how the process could work for you and your child.
If you would like to learn more about child-inclusive mediation, watch the video above or contact Marcia, our accredited child-inclusive mediation specialist, for help with any questions.
Ready to take the first step? Contact Marcia Mediation today to schedule your MIAM. We can answer any questions you may have and guide you through the process.
By taking this initial step, you are investing in a more peaceful and supportive separation process for your entire family.
Don’t let your child’s voice go unheard. Contact Marcia Mediation today for a free consultation and discover how child-inclusive mediation can make a difference.
If you have any questions, call us on 07791 560 161 or fill out this form
