This week, 17th-21st January, the annual Family Mediation Week is raising awareness of mediation and its many benefits for families.
Hosted by the Family Mediation Council, the five-day programme includes presentations on all aspects of family mediation, with a particular focus this year on the value of child-inclusive mediation.
Divorce or separation can be a huge change within a child’s life but, by including them in the mediation process, you allow the child to shape this change in a way that suits them.
To mark Family Mediation Week 2022, we’re taking our own look at why child-inclusive mediation is so important, what it involves, and how you can take your first steps in the process.
Children are a feature of many divorces and separations. In 2013, the most recent year for which data is available from the ONS, there were nearly 95,000 children of divorced couples under the age of 16, and more than 40,000 more aged 16 or over.
On average, a divorced couple has 0.36 children aged 16 or over (about one child per three divorced couples) and 0.83 children aged under 16 (about four children per five couples).
In 2013 alone that totalled 136,068 children. That’s 136,068 young lives facing considerable disruption, and 136,068 young voices that should be heard.
Children can be affected in many different ways by their parents’ separation. In extreme cases, where the father is not named on the birth certificate, he may not automatically have any parental rights over the child.
Academic performance can suffer due to the stress and upheaval; mental and emotional health can deteriorate; and even physical health can be affected due to disrupted mealtimes, stress-related loss of appetite and an increase in fast food.
Setting up two separate households also inevitably means dividing the family finances, which can leave children facing a poorer quality of life no matter how much time they spend at each address.
In all family mediation cases, the mediator acts as an independent voice to allow affected parties to speak freely, without fear or worry of offending one another.
The same is true where children are involved. The mediator will involve your child in discussions where appropriate, and will also speak to them privately to gain a true understanding of the child’s feelings, concerns and future wishes.
The idea of leaving your child to be questioned by a third party might seem strange, but an accredited child-inclusive mediator is trained to create a safe and supported environment in which the child’s voice can be heard. They will only ask appropriate questions and, in the vast majority of cases, the information gained is invaluable to making progress.
We will make sure your child is at ease and is not distressed, and will work with them to uncover any hidden concerns and develop a plan for how to proceed.
We understand that attending mediation can be challenging for parents of young children. As such, we can offer assistance to make sure the mediation process is balanced with your parental commitments.
If the child is not to be involved in a particular mediation session, we can keep them occupied elsewhere. We also offer remote mediation via telephone or webcam, and can schedule sessions to take place at a time when your child does not need your direct attention.
If you think mediation may be right for you, the first step is to book a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) to discuss how the process could work for you and your child.
If you would like to learn more about child-inclusive mediation, watch the video above or contact our accredited child-inclusive mediators for help with any questions.
If you have any questions, call us on 07791 560 161 or fill out this form
