The UK welcomed over a quarter of a million new couples in 2024 alone. But, with 42% of couples choosing to divorce, what are the most common causes of divorce?
The top reasons for divorce UK couples typically report include affairs, unreasonable behaviour, and money problems. But, did you know that ‘communication problems’ is one of the most common causes of divorce, at 65%?
At Marcia Mediation, we’ve witnessed firsthand how communication breakdowns escalate conflicts. As experienced mediators, we’re here to help you understand the impact of poor communication and how to help by addressing the issues early.
Take a look at our insights into why couples struggle to communicate, how this contributes to divorce, and the role mediation plays in fostering healthier discussions and potential reconciliation…
A 2024 psychological study by Belu and O’Sullivan found that while many factors can strain marriages, communication breakdowns are the leading causes of divorce. Many couples struggle with:
Research has found that nearly 30% of married people consider divorce due to financial problems.
Financial problems create considerable stress in relationships, especially when partners have different spending habits or financial priorities. Financial strains can look different for every couple, but most include:
One in seven divorces were granted as a result of adultery. While not the top cause, infidelity remains one of the top reasons for divorce UK couples face, as affairs often occur when emotional needs aren’t being met. But, trust issues can also arise from:
Understanding these key issues can help couples address challenges before they escalate, with mediation offering a way to rebuild trust and improve communication.
ONS records unreasonable behaviour as the most frequently cited reason for divorce, with 48.1% of women filing under this reason, and 34.8% of men.
While this category tops the table for ONS, unreasonable behaviour encompasses a range of issues. From emotional neglect to excessive arguing, and other forms of spousal misconduct, many of these issues are rooted in poor communication.
Every couple will face challenges when communicating with their partner. But, when these issues go unresolved, some couples find the lack of communication manifests into larger problems that can lead to divorce.
Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship psychologist, found consistent evidence that poor communication patterns such as criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt are strong predictors of divorce.
Imagine a couple who in the early years of their relationship, communicated openly, shared their thoughts, and resolved disagreements quickly.
However, as careers, children, and financial pressures entered the picture, their conversations became less about their feelings and more about daily logistics.
Over time, their disagreements turned into unresolved arguments, and both partners began feeling unheard. While one person shut down during conflicts, believing it was better to “let things blow over,” the other grew increasingly frustrated by the lack of resolution…
Disagreements are a natural part of any relationship, but how couples handle conflict determines whether their marriage strengthens or weakens over time.
When arguments are left unresolved, resentment builds, and partners may begin to see each other as adversaries rather than teammates. This can take many forms, but often include:
Over time, these patterns create emotional distance and make it harder to communicate effectively, reinforcing the cycle of conflict.
Healthy marriages rely on consistent emotional intimacy – the ability to openly share thoughts, feelings, and concerns with one another.
When couples struggle to express their needs, manage conflict, or feel emotionally disconnected, their relationship can slowly erode.
This emotional disconnection can lead to feelings of neglect, frustration, or even a desire to seek comfort outside the relationship. Sometimes without either partner fully realising the extent of the damage.
Not all communication breakdowns involve shouting or frequent conflict. In some marriages, silence becomes the biggest barrier to connection.
Stonewalling is when someone refuses to engage in discussions and can even lead to them physically withdrawing during difficult conversations and feeling like it “isn’t worth the fight.”
Eventually, the couple’s negative outlook began to grow and despite none of the typical causes of divorce occurring, their lack of communication created a void in their marriage and separation became the only viable option for both.
Communication problems are the main reason for divorce – responsible for 65% of divorces. However a separation occurs, the percentage of marriages end in divorce UK couples can expect are actually improving…
The Office of National Statistics provides the information below on the more common age ranges for divorces in England and the rest of the UK, as well as the average lengths marriages tend to be.
According to the latest figures published by the Office for National Statistics (ONS) in February 2024, there were 80,057 divorces granted in England and Wales in 2022.
Opposite sex couples are most likely to divorce between the ages of 45 – 49, whereas same sex couples, particularly female same-sex couples, are more likely to be in the age range of 30 – 39.
In later life, divorce becomes less common in later life. This doesn’t mean that older couples don’t divorce though, as all couples and families are different. In 2018 8,578 men aged 60 or above were divorced, as well as 5,736 women of the same age range.
It is estimated that 34% of marriages will end in divorce by the 20th wedding anniversary.
60% of marriages are expected to last until the 20th anniversary, with 6% of marriages expected to end by the 20th year of marriage due to the death of a spouse.
16% of marriages reach the 60th wedding anniversary, with the average duration of marriage expected to be 32 years.
In 2022, there were 80,057 divorces in England and Wales – a 30% decrease from the previous year.
This continues a broader trend of declining divorce rates since the early 2000s.
The number of same-sex divorces in 2022 was 1,298, showing a 17% decrease from the previous year, and as the rate of divorces has been falling since 2003, changing attitudes have contributed to the shift…
In the past, marriage was often viewed as a practical or social expectation. Today, people expect their partners to provide emotional support, personal growth, and deep connection.
When these expectations aren’t met, couples are more willing to seek counseling or separate rather than remain in unfulfilling marriages.
Later marriages and cohabitation before marriage are also giving couples more choice. By living together before making the commitment, stronger foundations and a stable lifestyle are more likely, which may be contributing to lower divorce rates.
This could explain the significant drop in the number of marriages ending after just one year, with a 68% decrease being reported from 1,283 divorces in 2021 to 405 in 2022.
Interestingly, 62% of divorces in 2022 were filed by wives, showing that women are more likely to initiate separation when dissatisfied. This could suggest women are enjoying greater financial independence and are less likely to stay in unhappy marriages due to economic dependence.
Many couples don’t realise their lack of communication in marriage leads to divorce until resentment has built up and separation feels inevitable.
Proactive steps can help repair the connection and prevent long-term damage to a relationship, such as active listening and conflict resolution techniques.
As a mediation professional, Marcia recommends trying these techniques to mend the bond with your partner…
One of the most common communication issues is not truly hearing each other. Active listening means:
Disagreements are inevitable, but how they’re handled determines their impact. Couples can:
If conversations routinely end in frustration, avoidance, or hostility, therapy or mediation can provide structured support. Seeking help early can prevent problems from becoming irreparable.
When communication breaks down in a relationship, many couples assume divorce is the only option.
Mediators are neutral professionals trained to help couples navigate difficult conversations and can provide an alternative path that encourages understanding and resolution rather than conflict.
Marcia works to create a safe, structured space for both partners to express concerns. This way the root causes of communication breakdowns can be identified and effective dialogue techniques can be put into place to begin rebuilding trust.
Even if reconciliation isn’t possible, mediation helps couples reach amicable agreements on key issues, making future interactions harmonious and productive.
In the UK, mediation is legally required before filing for divorce. This process, known as a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM), ensures couples explore resolution options before resorting to court.
Not only is mediation more cost-effective than litigation, which can be financially draining, it’s less emotionally distressing and much quicker. In fact, studies show that 7 out of 10 mediation cases result in a successful resolution.
Learn about Mediation vs Divorce Litigation and Speak to Marcia for More Information
Struggles with communication don’t have to lead to separation. Many couples assume their problems are beyond repair, but with the right support, understanding and resolution are possible.
Communication issues are one of the leading causes of divorce – More than infidelity or financial struggles, poor communication drives relationships apart.
Seeking help early increases the chance of saving a relationship. The sooner you address your challenges, the more likely you are to repair the bond between you and your partner.
Why Wait? Book a Free Consultation Today
If you and your partner are struggling to communicate, taking action now can make all the difference.
Give Marcia Mediation a call on 0161 425 3940 or email marcia@marciamediation.co.uk. We can help you reach the best possible agreement. Let’s take the first step together.
If you have any questions, call us on 0330 236 7450 or fill out this form
