Typically, by nature a divorce is a reasonably long process, that’s unavoidable.
What we can influence however is the peacefulness of the proceedings, which in turn will have a huge effect on your mental health.
Imagine this, you have a long drive ahead of you with your partner, you know the directions are unclear and the roads are congested. There’s a good chance that journey will be filled with contention and anxiety and as a consequence might last much longer than it should. Or you decide to take the train, where you can let go of the pressure, avoid all the heated jams and let an expert take care of the journey.
That’s a bit like the role of a mediator.
We’ve taken this journey on many occasions, we know what works and we know how to reach the destination with as little contention as possible and just as importantly with both parties arriving in the best possible mental state.
Taking care of yourself during a divorce.
Mental health is a high priority of ours during mediation because we know it has huge influence over negotiations. We’re trained to spot this and skilled in both tempering the effects of it or overcoming it if things become prickly.
Also, you may not be aware of any mental health issues your ex-partner might be suffering, but if either party is affected by it then conversations can become highly charged and resolutions are unlikely.
Of course, we must accept that most divorce situations have an element of contention. But it’s all too easy to get locked into our singular viewpoint and become wedded to our own opinion of what we deserve. Consequently, we become dogmatic on specific points and won’t let go. Which is fine until you consider the other party is also of the same mindset, then a high level of contention and a lengthy battle can be expected.
Not focusing on you.
The best way to focus on what is best for you in a divorce, is to not focus on you!
This alters your outlook and allows you to focus on desired outcomes across all the main issues such as assets, children, finances, wellbeing and ongoing support. That’s where a sense of perspective can be a great friend.
For example, if we come at these issues from a child-centred perspective, then the resolutions tend to be much more easily accepted because, in part, we are no longer focusing on the ex-partner as ‘winning’.
Also, looking at the bigger picture including your wellbeing and sanity is very important and a mediator is almost unique in terms of being able to do this.
Let the experts take care of the journey.
Mediation offers a balanced view when approaching the practical aspects of the divorce as well as the long-term picture and our expertise lies in moving negotiations along in as peaceful manner as possible.
What’s critical to your mental health is that we move you smoothly through a series of neutral mini-resolutions so that the entire episode, or the long journey, appears effortlessly in your rear view mirror.
This way you can move on to your new life and let perspective really take over.
Make the call and let’s chat about how mediation can help you.