Understanding Amicable Divorce

At first glance, the words amicable and divorce feel like they shouldn’t go together. After all, divorce usually carries negative connotations like conflict and emotional stress. But the truth is that divorce can be a pleasant, collaborative, and amicable process, for all parties involved. 

What does amicable mean in divorce?

Believe it or not – divorces can be amicable. But what do we mean by this? 

Amicable divorce refers to couples who choose to agree upon terms peacefully, with minimal disruptions and no litigation. Even if couples encounter some disagreements, they should avoid acting upon feelings of resentment and, instead, work together to find a solution. 

Rather than spending countless hours arguing about who deserves what, an amicable divorce ensures that matters like child support, visitation rights, and property division, are handled peacefully. Amicable divorces are not necessarily rooted in love, but they do stem from goodwill and a willingness to cooperate. 

The process of achieving amicable divorce 

In principle, the idea of an amicable divorce sounds too good to be true, so what’s the best way to go about it? 

To ensure a smooth separation, couples must practise effective communication strategies and explore alternative dispute resolution methods. Let’s explore these two factors in greater detail. 

Effective communication strategies 

If you want to get your point across with ease, you’ll need to take advantage of the most effective communication strategies available, such as: 

• Practise active listening: don’t just hear what the other has to say, make sure you understand and respond to their concerns in an empathetic manner. 
• Make use of ‘I’ statements: refrain from using phrases that shift blame or fault your partner. For example, you can say “I feel unheard” instead of “you’re not listening to me”. 
• Avoid the use of absolute terms: absolute terms refer to words like “never”, or “always”. These should be avoided as they tend to generalise statements and cause conflict.  
• Seek clarification at all times: if there’s something you don’t understand, make sure to ask for clarification. You can do so by asking open-ended questions or paraphrasing their thoughts to ensure there is no misunderstanding. 

Alternative dispute resolution methods 

Another way to ensure your divorce is as amicable as possible is by opting for alternative dispute resolution methods like mediation. Having a mediator to guide you through the process helps facilitate communication by: 

• Establishing ground rules: before you begin your session, lay down some ground rules such as treating each other with respect and taking turns to speak. 
• Creating a safe space to encourage open dialogue: your mediator should facilitate a neutral environment where both parties feel comfortable expressing their feelings through constructive dialogue. 
• Promoting mutual understanding: having a mediator lead the conversation can help both parties feel heard and promote a greater understanding of each other’s perspectives.  

Practical steps towards amicable divorce

Now that we’ve gone over the process of achieving amicable divorce, and what to expect, let’s consider the practical steps you can take to achieve your goal. 

If you’re about to begin the separation process, we recommend that you: 

Manage Your Emotions During the Divorce Process

Just because your divorce is amicable, doesn’t mean it won’t be stressful. Make self-care a priority and involve yourself in the activities you love the most. Be aware of your emotions and practice mindfulness on a daily basis to stay present. You may even decide to explore new methods of self-care like meditation or journaling. 

Take on Co-Parenting Tips for a Healthy Post-Divorce Relationship

Investing in your physical and emotional health is of the essence, especially if you have kids who rely on you. Remember to take it easy and avoid harmful coping mechanisms like smoking or drinking alcohol. Rather than engaging in power struggles with your former spouse, put your children first and keep your cool. Be willing to compromise for the sake of your kids and offer them a stable routine. 

Seek out Support from Professionals and Peer Groups

During a divorce, emotions run at an all-time high. Now is a great time to seek refuge and build a support system. This network may encompass friends, family members, or a specialised group of peers who are going through similar struggles. You could also consider reaching out to a therapist who focuses on divorce or family issues.  

Legal Implications of amicable divorce

During an amicable divorce, both parties agree to collaborate without participating in contentious litigation. In other words, they decide not to go to court. 

Do I need a solicitor for an amicable divorce?

Although individuals are not legally required to hire a solicitor for an amicable divorce in the UK, many couples seek out professional help to iron out the details. Navigating the legal procedure without prior experience can be complicated, therefore it’s important to evaluate your options carefully. 

Can you use the same solicitor in an amicable divorce?

Even if both parties are amicable, each party should hire their own solicitor. Representing both parties at the same time could result in a conflict of interest as solicitors must act in the best interests of their client. 

How does an amicable divorce work? 

Once a consensus is reached, the couple will submit a divorce settlement that outlines the terms of their separation. This document is sent to the court for approval and, if deemed satisfactory, the agreement is formalised, and divorce is granted.  

The cost of an amicable divorce

Divorces can be draining, and we don’t just mean emotionally. Wasting unnecessary time by arguing in court or meeting with lawyers can quickly add thousands of pounds to your expenses. Thankfully, an amicable divorce will cost you significantly less. 

How much does an amicable divorce cost in the UK?

As always, the cost of a divorce will depend on several factors, such as the rate of your solicitor, whether you need to attend court hearings and any additional services you may require, like a mediator. 

How much does a divorce cost if both parties agree UK?

If both parties agree, a ballpark figure for an uncontested divorce can range anywhere from £500 to £2000. This will cover aspects like the preparation and filing of divorce documents, court fees, and drafting a consent order. 

If you’re currently dealing with divorce and you’d like to take the amicable route, we recommend you reach out to a mediator who can guide you through the process. Don’t hesitate to contact the team at Marcia Mediation for support.