Divorce is commonly regarded as one of the most stressful experiences a person can experience as an adult. While it can be a lengthy and arduous process, you can soften its impact by trying to divorce amicably.
An amicable divorce is more likely to be a peaceful and dignified process in which each party is satisfied with the outcome.
Here are some thoughts on how to have an amicable divorce and start a new chapter in your life with an empowered sense of optimism.
You don’t need to rush into divorce the moment you have decided to end your marriage, even in the case of an amicable separation.
It’s usually not helpful to rush into any process including mediation when emotions are high .
The process of divorce marks the close of one chapter in your life. It also marks the start of a new life.
Before you start your new chapter, you must find time to heal from the breakdown of the relationship that is ending.
In our experience, many people find that individual counselling helps. Talking about your feelings in a judgment-free environment without your spouse present might well give you the space you need to process the complicated emotions you will be feeling.
A divorce coach will help you create the space you need to navigate through complex emotions and help you focus on the future rather than the past. It is what you do next that counts!
Although you might develop a friendship with your ex-spouse after some time passes, you likely won’t be able to jump directly from marriage to friendship without letting the dust settle.
You are on a journey; taking a bridge over troubled waters from the former life as a married couple, perhaps a family with children, towards a life on the other side where you are separated, independent, divorced but remaining in a vital role as co-parent to your children.
So, the focus should be on how you communicate as co-parents. Many of our client chose to do this through a messaging service such as what’s app, or even one of the dedicated apps available to separated co-parents.
Mediation helps you place emotions to one side and focus on the problems to be solved or, as we say, it seeks to separate the problem from the people.
It helps achieve this by adopting a strictly forward focussed approach, focussing first and foremost on the needs of your children and then your respective individual needs.
What does post separation and divorce look like for each of you in terms of where you will each live and how new living arrangements will meet your needs and the needs of the children?
Mediation can help you each to work to solve this problem practically, as the mediator can help you explore options that are likely to work.
Harmful emotions and stress will thrive in freefall.
So in our experience it is best to take control of what can be controlled.
Mediation is strictly voluntary and will work well if you are both committed to the process.
If you have any questions, call us on 07791 560 161 or fill out this form