There are many reasons why you might need to sustain a low-stress environment over the long term.
For some separated couples, limited finances can mean you are unable to move out into separate homes; you might have children together and need to meet to discuss parenting or to attend your kids’ social events like school assemblies and birthday parties.
Of course in 2020, many of us are also going through a high-stress situation due to COVID-19, and the Coronavirus pandemic is especially tough if you have a negative family situation at home.
Mediation can help with all of the above, and many other stressful scenarios too. Mediators really do care – we listen, we genuinely want to help, and we offer support that is specific to your circumstances.
First of all, mediation can help to identify the causes of stress, which is an important first step towards minimising that stress over the long term.
Involving a third-party like a professional family mediator can help to pick away at complicated situations, to get to the root of what’s causing your stress.
Often this is not what you might have expected to be responsible – and in many cases it’s surprisingly easy to find a long-term solution to cut those stress levels to a minimum.
‘Compromise’ sounds like giving something up, but it’s actually the opposite. The best compromise means all parties get the most possible from the arrangements made.
In extreme circumstances, the alternative might be no agreement at all, in which case you would get nothing. And in divorces, compromise can be an alternative to long and costly court action.
So flexibility and compromise are a way to reach the best possible outcome – that could be something concrete like financial arrangements and parenting plans, but it can also be a way to tackle stressful scenarios by defining them and dealing with them sensibly.
Finally, sustaining a low-stress environment takes ongoing work. You need to check any arrangements are still working, that both parties are keeping to the agreement, and that no new sources of stress have arisen.
Mediators can provide this ongoing support. In divorce cases, for example, we often keep in touch with both parties indefinitely, to help if parenting plans and handover schedules don’t work out as hoped.
If you’re on good terms with your partner, you can of course have discussions about any stress without a mediator there, and we always aim for an amicable outcome from more formal talks to lay the groundwork for this.
Marcia Mediation are here if you need us. We welcome enquiries from individuals and from unhappy couples or those planning to separate, and we can arrange mediation sessions that take into account your home life, especially during COVID-19 social distancing measures.
Even when ‘lockdown’ measures are not in place, we can provide mediation services remotely, via Zoom and Skype calls, and we keep in touch via email and telephone too.
Stress is not inevitable, even in a negative family situation. If you’re not sure how to tackle it, or you just need to talk to someone outside of your own immediate household, we are only an email or phone call away, so please do get in touch.