Most people, at some point in their lifetime, will either think or say the words “I’ll just get through Christmas and then…”
It’s natural to delay things until after the holidays, especially if they affect your whole family, so it’s no surprise that the new year often brings with it a surge in new divorce proceedings too.
This doesn’t have to be too distressing if you take a positive approach to the process, as if you have come to the decision that you want a divorce, then it’s usually safe to say that it is the best option in the long term.
Here are five tips to help make sure that you make a positive new start in the new year, so that 2017 can be the start of better times for you and your family.
- Be honest
If you still haven’t spoken to your family about your feelings, consider doing so, as long as you will be in a safe environment.
Mediators can offer something of a safety net if you are worried about discussions becoming heated or overly emotional, allowing a mediation office to double as a ‘safe space’ so you can make real progress.
- Be practical
It’s easy to get caught up in the emotional side of divorce, but the practical considerations should be given the attention they deserve.
Think about things like the family finances, where you will live after separating, and so on – the sooner you can pin down those details, the less stressful the rest of the process will be.
- Tell the kids
Telling your children that their parents are getting a divorce is one of the most difficult conversations you are likely to have with them, but it needs to happen.
By involving them in the process early on, you spend less time worrying beforehand, and they have longer to come to terms with it and even to have a say on issues like custody and residence.
- Get help
You don’t have to go through divorce alone. Even if you are the one who asked for the divorce, it can feel like a very isolating process.
Get some mediation help and you will have some impartial advice on hand when you need it, helping you to navigate the waters ahead, and hopefully making the choppier waves a little calmer for all concerned.
- Look ahead
Remember the end goal of divorce is to remove you and your family from an impossible situation so the future will be brighter for all of you.
Keep this in mind as your divorce mediation gets underway – it might be tough at times, but while New Year 2017 perhaps wasn’t the happiest, hopefully New Year 2017 will be a much more positive milestone.