Shuttle Mediation: When you can’t bear to be in the same room


Divorce mediation is a great way to get everybody sat down in the same room and make some real progress in areas that might have previously formed an impasse – but what if things have already become too acrimonious for you to even want to be in the same room as your partner?

If you can’t bear the thought of a face-to-face confrontation, shuttle mediation offers a solution. This allows you to be in a different room from your spouse, while an experienced, professional divorce mediator acts as the messenger – literally ‘shuttling’ between the two rooms so talks can proceed.

Mediators will often speak to each partner on a one-on-one basis anyway, but in many divorces there will also be times when everybody is involved in the conversation together at the same time – and if you are happy to do this, it can be a good way to move the discussion forwards faster.

Shuttle mediation is an equally acceptable approach though, so if you are feeling stressed or worried about how to face your partner once divorce proceedings begin, there is no need for concern when you involve a mediator to do the talking face-to-face on your behalf.

Importantly, this does not mean you lose control over what is said – shuttle mediators work hard to ensure that your views are expressed accurately and correctly to the other parties involved – but it means you don’t have to try to put that point across yourself, if you feel intimidated or uncomfortable being in the room.

Shuttle mediation also does not mean you commit to never seeing your partner in person – it can be used alongside other forms of mediation, for example if there is just one specific issue that you have found hard to discuss face-to-face, whereas other parts of the negotiations are more comfortable for you.

Marcia Mediation can therefore offer shuttle mediation as just one of a range of mediation services and methods, along with joint meetings and any necessary one-on-ones to keep the conversation moving in the right direction.

Finally, if there are children involved or affected by your divorce proceedings, consider a shuttle mediation session that includes them, as they may feel more confident speaking candidly alone with a mediator than they do in a room with their parents, especially at a stressful time like an active divorce.

Mediation is here to improve the process for everyone affected – including both spouses and any dependants – and shuttle mediation is just one more powerful tool to help in achieving that.

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